Hurt Goes Both Ways

I disappointed someone today, and to make it worse he is - or claims to be, a Christian brother. I hung up on him after asking him not to call me anymore. And then I blocked him. I did it in anger. I’m still angry.

I could even be wrong.

I really don’t care.

There are people in this world who have the patience and understanding of a saint. Who can accept imperfection in others without a thought to themselves. Who are living examples of Corinthians, the very essence of the passage describing love. Long suffering, never remembering anything against them, living to serve others in prayer and with their human needs.

I am certain that the Lord pairs people like them with people like me to protect them.

We do our best, we try. We forgive for a while. But eventually we have to call out the idiots in this world who choose to be users.

Someone has to look them in the eye and tell them that God loves them, but they are done. The house is closed, you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.

So, if I have disappointed you I am sorry -- sort of -- if you deserved it then grow up. And don’t call me, I’ve blocked your number.

How to Make God Smile

For the last few years I have been getting together with a group of buddies and fishing on a river in Oregon. It is always fun and this year was no exception. Due to health problems in our group -- we are all over 50 these days, there were some changes in the cast, but everything was excellent.

As usual my favorite moment was one that could never have been planned, it just happened. We had caught a nice fish and wanted some pictures to torture one of the group who could not attend this year. We staged ourselves with the perfect background and got ready to go. It was a great fish, colored up with bright reds and silver, a hook jaw and strong as a bull. We made fun of the missing member and reveled in our plans to take not just one but multiple pictures with this monster fish. One on the bank, then one in the boat, maybe one in the water with waders on. We had a story all cooked up about how even though the fish all looked alike they were in fact all different. We had just gotten into a group of nice fish that maybe looked similar. So up to the front of the boat we went for our first shot. And then this happened. That fish is living free as I write this, he's probably still laughing at the old guys who have grip the strength of a little girl.

There is a moral to the story: “If you want to make God smile just tell him your plans.”

Life Takes Courage –

A life without courage is a sad thing to behold, mostly because it lacks the fun and vitality that we all know it should hold. For some reason everyone around us can see how we should be living our lives, what careers we should pursue, who we should marry, how we should handle a difficult relationship, yet for those of us actually living our lives it is a constant struggle to make the right decisions.

It’s not the jump into the unknown that is most fearful; it is deciding for yourself how much to jump. Should I completely change my life, or should I just jump off the curb instead. No one is afraid of a six-inch leap, but a sixty-foot cliff is another thing altogether.

I have a friend who changed careers and was told that it would take a minimum of four years to achieve his goals, he did it in less than one year. He chose to burn the bridge behind him and left himself only one way to go, that kind of courage is uncommon. I cannot wait to see the results, I am certain that his leap will change the lives of those who know him, they have seen what is possible with their own eyes.

Others lack the courage to face up to the choices they made earlier. There comes a point in men’s lives where they have to reexamine themselves and what they have become. They may have gone down a path which led them to somewhere they did not intend to go, and yet there they are, their choice is clear – continue down the trail or jump off a new cliff. Both choices may take courage but usually only one is correct.

Make sure you are jumping for the right reasons, not to get away from something but always towards the noble choice. If you are jumping for yourself and you are a grownup make sure it’s you that matters most. When my friend jumped into a new career he had the backing of all who knew and loved him, everyone believed he could do it and he left no wreckage behind. It was a glorious leap.

Have the selflessness to make the good jumps and to back away from the bad ones. Listen to those who truly love you most, they can sometimes see with clarity things which evade us when we are struggling to decide our own destiny. Listen to the counsel of loved ones and be courageous in your choice, then follow the path with fortitude, it is the right leaps that make life worth living.

Don't Wait Too Long

I have to admit this is not the usual advice I hear. I am hoping to retire early from a good job with an excellent company, most of the time my friends ask: “Why leave, you have a great job (true), what will you do with your days?”

What if you run out of money?

What if you get tired of traveling, or golf, or reading?

What if you need long-term care?

What if, what if, what if….

I have heard them all, voiced with concern and love from those who care.

One of the benefits of being a traveling salesman is that I have long periods alone behind the wheel, these are my favorite times. I relish the quiet. My mind has time to bring ideas to fruition without interruption. Sure sometimes it is boring, but overall I find it to be beneficial. This week as I rolled down I-5 heading towards the middle of California’s great central valley I had another set of “what if’s” filling my mind and causing me to contemplate my future.

When I stopped for fuel in Williams I parked next to a gentleman from British Columbia in a 36 foot motor home. As I unwound myself from the seat of my compact car he looked at me and remarked that it looked like I was having a tough day. I was a little stiff getting to the pump and I replied: “Not too bad, I am just jealous. I have a new fifth wheel at home just waiting for me to take off and see the country.” He was heading to Palm Springs for a couple weeks and then onto Arizona to hike away the winter months.

I mentioned that I had been to British Columbia a couple of times in the past few years and that it was lovely. We traded a little banter and it was time for me to get back on the road. And that is when he hit me with his parting advice.

He said: “Don’t wait too long”

“I won’t I replied, I have a few more years to go, I need to get everything in place first.”

“I understand” he said, “But don’t wait too long. I see a lot of that, people who waited too long.”

It is a lot to think about, this whole idea of how much is enough. Like we have any security anyway. I plan for 40 years of life and then pray not to have a stroke tonight.

So I 've decided to be a brave adventurer and not to wait too long. I don’t want to say that I should have left 5 years sooner, I could have climbed to the top of that hill and seen the sunrise. I could have gone down that river if I were just a little younger. I’ve never been one to take many chances, but this is one I must try. I have noticed that there are two distinct personalities giving advice. There are those waiting and planning, and then there are those like my Canadian gas station guru, already living out their fantasy. I am a firm believer that we cannot change who we are, we were created by God in a certain fashion and that is what we forever will be, but I have decided to try beating back my inner-spreadsheet fanatic and take a little chance. I really do not want to say that I waited too long.

So it looks like 1 year, 11 months and 23 days until the campfires begin. But who’s counting.

Does God Ever Say No?

Is this what it look like when God says “No?” Somebody built this house in the middle of nowhere trying to live a good life. It is one of the bleakest spots I have ever seen. If it weren’t for the power lines there would be no other signs of civilization for miles. Sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, the answer is not what you are looking for. The reasons may elude us, and faith in our faith may drive us to continue pursuing a lost cause. Don Quixote comes to mind as a satirical example.

I once had a pastor who was more than that to me, he was a friend and a mentor. He was diagnosed with cancer in a middle stage and we were all pretty sure that things would be fine. We did all the things you would expect a church to do and he did all the right things as well. One Sunday morning he took the podium and announced that sometimes we try too hard. Sometimes we fight too long. Sometimes the answer to our prayers is no. As a congregation we were shocked and relieved. The truth was apparent to anyone with vision, yet to hear him say it was a blessing. It allowed us to be true to what we knew yet did not want to say out loud. In this case the Lord had said no. He came to grips with his own mortality and peacefully passed on to the next life.

This troubles me now because of something I heard regarding faith. That if we; that is the collective we - as in all Christians in the U.S. - just had more faith, many of our troubles would be over. I have a problem with that, because it ignores one huge issue. It takes in no account of an idea being wrong. What if God is telling a leader not to proceed? How would He voice that command. Could it be through a lack of participation in the congregation? Through grumbling perhaps? I say that is very possible.

After the service we had a quite lively discussion over the concept that it is a lack of faith in America causing these issues. It could very well be the case in some places, but there have to also be other instances where the answer is simply no and the people don’t want to hear it. Throughout the bible we have proven ourselves to be hard of hearing when it comes to the Lord’s commands. We are easily led, sometimes by our own desires, to our detriment.

The next time you question yourself for not being faithful enough take a moment to reflect, are you sure you are listening? Are you sure you aren’t behaving like one who refuses to take no for an answer? As my pastor once said, it is possible to try too hard, sometimes instead of exhorting we need to listen.

Like so many questions of faith this is not one that can be answered for you, because your answer is yours and yours alone. No one else can tell you if you are being faithful or stubborn, that is between you and your Lord.

Winter is Here!

It seems like in one day winter arrived. We were in the woods riding motorcycles, having a fire, hanging out when all of a sudden we noticed it was COLD! Since it was the end of the year it is time to expect a little snow but every year it seems to sneak up on us.

This year we have decided to feed the birds throughout the winter. I am not sure if it is good or bad for the birds, the argument rages, but the truth is I could care less. The birds seem happy and I like it, so we are good to go. If you have any complaints send them to my Yahoo account please, it's the one I give to contacts I never intend to read.

My favorite backyard birds are these hummingbirds,  these little guys are the rat terriers of the bird world. Fearless and tiny, they think they are really something. Anyone who gets too close to the feeder is due for a fly-by. If they weighed 100 #'s they would rule the sky.

This purple headed male has claimed the yard as his own. I have decided to name him Daniel, he doesn't eat meat and would fly into fire to claim what is his.

I am not sure if Danny is a bit of a camera hound or if hovering takes a lot out of a guy because he is very willing to pose for snapshots between flights. I hope he hangs around for awhile.

This young lady seems to be a rare beauty, at least in Danny's eyes, because he allows her to enter the yard with a minimum of fuss. Now the female label is a guess based on the king of the yard's behavior, but I am going to go with it and name her Sarah. She was known as a woman of uncommon beauty.

Altough with my luck Sarah may turn out to be another Adam Lambert... oops sorry, that just slipped out.

Lessons in Luck

I went to a funeral today.

I had learned a very valuable lesson from this man years before and wanted to say thanks and pay my respects. Back when I was younger and more aggressive I read quite a few books on self-improvement and charting your destiny. I had begun to believe that we make our own luck, that we controlled our circumstances by attracting into our lives people and events according to our attitudes and habits.

Then my friend Walt lost his daughter. She was the light of his life, young and beautiful with everything to live for. She was killed by a drunk driver while parked at a stoplight. A short while after that the company he worked for laid off their entire workforce. All of this happening to one of the most honest and friendly folks I ever met. A dedicated family man, a veteran who served his country, worked hard and never had a bad word to say about anyone.

It was a great lesson for me, I threw away the motivational books I had been reading and witnessed a real person work their way back from some of life’s toughest blows. The thought that this man had made his own luck was an absurdity. He took a job that I had just left and we spoke often for a few years afterwards. I watched him work his way back from despair slowly over time. Eventually he found other reasons to be happy and lived well for another couple of decades.

I will always think about him anytime I hear about someone making their own luck, I just don’t buy it. He made the best of his life, but luck did not have much to do with it.