Last year my dad passed away and even though I am in my 50’s it was still tough to take, for the first time in my life I can’t call him for advice. Our relationship was not as close as I would have liked it to be, he kept everyone at a distance, that was just his personality. Still, your father is a special person and they hold a place in your heart like no other, regardless of their human flaws.
I loved him dearly.
One thing about being a father is that you can’t get there without being a son first, so I determined that I would not repeat the same mistakes, I would make all new ones. Now that my kids are old enough to be out on their own I have learned something else. It’s the ongoing relationship that matters most. I know I have made mistakes, some of them I can remember and many I am not even aware of. In this case ignorance really is bliss. I never mentioned any of my fathers mistakes to him, why would I? They were past and I could not have loved him any more, even if he were perfect.
What I needed, and what I got from him, was a relationship. An ongoing, long lasting mentor I could speak with honestly. Someone who had no motive other than love to guide him in our conversations.
I have come to realize that your children never stop needing you, their needs just change. I also find that I am still learning from my own father even after he is gone.
I love you dad.
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